69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
