I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Green mimosas i think yes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize