You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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