I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
