Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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