Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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