i need an iv and a liver transplant
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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