Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
