My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
