ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
