Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
