She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
