remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
