There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
