I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
