It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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