I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
