I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize