You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
