Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
