Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
