the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
