remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
