Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
