we're making bets on your personal life
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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