just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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