i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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