weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I will pee on everything he values.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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