Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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