dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
