I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
