What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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