i barfeds in our rink
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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