please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't think brook has ever known best
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is Oprah even human
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
