i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
