There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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