My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
