I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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