Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
