Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
