grandma shit on top of the toilet
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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