some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
