When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
