I'm going to jail i love you
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
