I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
