every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
