# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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