i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize