the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
