fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
