I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
