Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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