That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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