Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
