Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
