i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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