The best revenge is premature balding
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
