Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize