you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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