Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
