i already hear my dad disowning me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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