According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
