You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
