I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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