i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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