we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
