How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize