foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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